četvrtak, 15. ožujka 2018.

Review: Helen Fisher: Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love


I'm in love with love, and because I love it, I like to read about it. And I'm not just talking about reading romance novels. Some people like sports. They watch sports matches and follow statistics of their favorite team or player. Those who like cooking would probably do some research on how to use parsley in ten different ways. 
Call me crazy, but from time to time, I like to read scientific facts on love. Why can't we live without it? Why is everything always about love?
Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love
answers those questions and many more. So let's find more about it.



Times change. My own example proves it. I was born in 1990 and the thing that has made the biggest impacted my life (outside of my family) was the Internet. I remember the times when I had to rewind my music cassette to be able to hear the lyrics of my favorite songs right. Then YouTube happened. And Google. Not only can I now listen to my music on repeat, but I can simultaneously read lyrics and even sing karaoke in my own house. I'm even older than Facebook! People older than me often have difficulties with adjusting to modern inventions, and younger generations can't imagine life without those.

The world changes, and we change with it. What was once normal, today it can be unimaginable. There are no borders anymore, we accumulate knowledge and change opinions. We doubt what we once were sure about. We evolve. And we do it all online.


There are more oportunities for us today to find love than ever before. Most people have Tinder accounts, don't they?
But is love really what we still want? Or did modern inventions made us want something else instead? Maybe just a little bit of passion, just a little bit of fun...

What Helen Fisher is trying to find out and share with us in this book is the answer to the question whether love we know today is the same love our grandparents knew. Is the time of monogamy long gone? Are family and matrimony something with an expiration date?

This manual consists of 16 chapters and every sentence is a product of years of work and research. In the beginning, the author asks the most important questions: why do we fall in love? Why do we fall in love with that one particular person? Did we finally evolve enough to be ready to share our lives with two or more partners at the same time?
We realize homo sapiens is not the only species on Earth that's genetically programmed to feel the need to procreate, but we are the ones who don't do it mechanically, with no feeling involved.
This book will tell us the truth about who's more important for the survival of our species, men or woman. 

Frankly, I was a bit nervous before reading it, because I didn't know what to expect. Will I find out that modern society has no need for formalities such as marriage? Did modern days make love look like something we don't need to feel to be able to live normal lives? Is it still okay to want a family and fidelity?


But it turned out that, if there's one thing that will prevail, it's our need to find a life with that one special person. Somehow, people always end up needing a soulmate. They always end up seeking for some guarantee that they will always belong to someone - and they get that guarantee by getting married.

We can't escape love and passion.

Besides the 16 chapters, at the end of the manual, there are two questionnaires. The first one can tell you how deep your feeling of love and passion go for the person you're in a relationship with. The second one will tell you a bit about your personality. Not only will this book let you put some feelings you might have into perspective, but it will also help you realize why you feel them.

Throughout history, kingdoms have fallen and the laws have been changed, but love survived. Family is the basic social institution and as such, it's the one that will always adapt.
Love is forever.



Here you can find this review in Croatian.
Here you can find reviews of books on similar topics: Arielle Ford: The Soulmate Secret




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